Whether you’ve had steady relationships in the past or have reached a stage where you’re going through courtship with a new girlfriend, you might have concerns. It’s only natural to worry about the longer-term picture, such as how things are liable to pan out the more your bond develops.
To ease any anxieties, it might be worth pointing out that what you’re experiencing is hardly unique. When it comes to dating, every woman can get worked up when thinking about the future. So, here are what might be referred to as the four commonest stages of lesbian dating.
First spark and affection
We’re all aware of the cliché, ‘love at first sight.’ Whether or not this exists, most single lesbians seeking a hookup or a long-term partner will secretly hope to come across a girl whom they find irresistible.
For some, this involves hanging around in same-sex bars or clubs, keeping an eye out for other single females who have the ‘wow factor.’ But for an increasing number of women, the preference is not to leave things to chance but to engineer a meeting with the perfect partner.
To this end, they’ll sign up for a lesbian website where they can check out the profile photos of a practically unlimited choice of suitable candidates for romance. You may not even believe it but often simple looking for one night friend lesbian hookup ends up as a long-term relationship.
The discreet communication channels are conducive to open connections, creating an environment where the sparks of romance can be kindled.
Doubts after initial butterflies in the stomach
The next stage occurs after the initial flush of first meeting a girl you feel compatible with fades. You might settle into a routine of regular dates, but at the back of your mind, there will be niggles. Is this relationship going to last once it gets past the initial excitement of the honeymoon period?
Are the feelings my new partner seems to be displaying 100% genuine, or is this perhaps a front she is putting up? Are these real feelings or a just a pleasant lesbian hookup?
Much as the answers to any of these questions would undoubtedly be something along the lines of ‘stop being so paranoid, and just enjoy the journey,’ it can sometimes be difficult to get past the notion that the relationship is imbalanced.
The key to making the most of your lesbian connection is to trust in your heart and, where possible, maintain open lines of communication. If you are experiencing any feelings of doubt, never keep these to yourself. Instead, make sure you voice any uncertainty.
Far from being some sort of admission of weakness, this honesty is liable to bring you even closer. If it reveals that you are vulnerable, but more importantly, although you accept you have flaws, you are willing to air these.
In the formative stages of a partnership, this shows that you will always wear your heart on your sleeve. Your partner would not expect you to be so direct if you were having second thoughts yourself, so you’d be reinforcing how much you feel, strengthening the bond between you.
Growing closer and falling in love
As you become more comfortable in each other’s company, you’ll start moving beyond date nights and consider making more of a commitment. This can lead to big decisions needing to be made, but they can also be exciting, paving the way for a committed partnership. You might well decide to move in together. This would make a lot of sense, especially if you get into the habit of seeing more and more of each other socially.
Why would you date, then part to go off to your respective abodes? As you get closer, you’ll have discussions about whose house to share and what happens to the other one. At this point, other considerations will present themselves.
How about handling the household budget? Who will be responsible for which bill? Things you might not have thought of before will loom larger in your thoughts, such as styling your home for holidays, or if you both drive, deciding to pool your resources and use just one car.
Discussing exclusivity and commitment level
The fourth stage is where you decide the way forward. You have already come a considerable distance on your journey and faced some choppy waters when a moment of doubt set in, but now you’re past that and anticipating a vibrant future together. This is where you can start making a longer-term plan, suggesting holiday destinations next year, and even thinking about committing to formalizing your relationship through civil partnership or marriage.
While there will invariably be variations to these four stages – every lesbian couple is unique, so some will have their particular quirks. But these general headings will certainly strike a chord with so many lesbians. The good news is that every relationship passing the four stages will go on to prosper. So, to conclude, never take your partner for granted, and keep giving compliments.