This year, my birthday means so much to me and I am so thankful to God for my life. I had the scare of my life the day I had my third baby.
Before that, my doctor told me my blood count was low and he gave me some medications to make sure I will be fine before I went into labour.
The day I went into labour, we left home very early because of my condition. I had a smooth labour and within 5 hours, my baby was here.
I was so happy and I thought the scariest part was over and I was fine. A few hours after giving birth, it happened.
I don’t remember why I got up but immediately I stood up, I could feel I was really bleeding. And as the blood was oozing out, I started getting dizzy and everything turned dark.
I was falling and I wasn’t sure I was going to get back up. As I was falling, my only thought was my kids, “please God save me” and then I blacked out.
I honestly thought that was the end for me. Because a lot of mothers lose their life during childbirth due to low blood count and blood loss.
But in less than an hour, I regained consiousness and today I’m here to celebrate my 29th birthday. All I have to say is thank you God.
I thank God for giving me a second chance at life and I am grateful that I get to share my life with an amazing husband and three adorable little girls.
My greatest fear
Death is inevitable in life. It is going to happen no matter what. And I know that.
Growing up, I never really cared about dying. I was brought up a Christian and because of that, I believe that death is not the end and there’s life after death and all.
So being afraid of death, naah, but that all changed the day I found out I was pregnant with my first child.
Suddenly, everything changed. I wasn’t responsible for just myself. I was responsible for another person. A whole human being. Someone who didn’t ask to be here.
Someone I am bringing to this world. And from that day, the fear of dying and leaving my kids in this dog eat dog world has always lived with me.
And it influences a lot of decisions I make in life.
So I try to play safe. I don’t do anything scary, because I don’t want to leave my kids. My greatest fear is for my children to grow up without me.
I want to be there for it all. I want to be there to answer all of their questions. I want to experience all their great milestones in life with them.
I hate the thought of my death being a shadow on them, so that everything they do, they will wish their mom was here. I hate the thought of them being sad on days that are supposed to be happy days in their life, just because their mom isn’t around.
I can’t stand the pain they will go through each and every day because their mom died. They are too young for that.
And my husband, I don’t know how he’s going to live with that. Someone he wanted to share a life with and suddenly, she’s not here and she didn’t just leave. She left a reminder(the kids).
I would want him to be happy. I would want him to move on. Marry another wife and that means my kids get a new mom. And that is another thing I don’t want. I want my kids to grow up with a mom alright but I want that mom to be me.
I don’t want them to feel indebted to someone all their life because they brought them up. They are my kids. I brought them to this world. I never asked for their consent.
So I have to take care of them and they owe me nothing for anything I do for them. I wonder if the new mom will see it that way.
Every time, I hear a young mom died, my heart sinks and it terrifies me to my core. What are her kids going to do? But as a Christian, I know that all I have to do is pray.
Pray to God for protection for myself and my family. Pray to God to give me the chance to live long enough to watch my kids grow old to an age where they don’t need a mom anymore because they aren’t kids.
Yes, it will still hurt them to lose their mom but that wouldn’t affect their life because they won’t be kids anymore. They will be grownups then and that means they will be fine.
Things I want to do before I turn 30
It’s my 29th birthday and the scare I had, got me thinking of certain things I want to do in life. One truth about life is that all we have is now, as we are not promised tomorrow.
So if there’s anything you’ve ever wanted to do, now is the time. I realise that this is a list I should have made in my early twenties not now. Making this list now means that I have one year to check these things off.
So whiles I have life, I’m going to try to do as many of these things as I can. I’m going to carpe all the diems I can, every day.
30 things to do before 30
- Dye my hair
- Learn a new language
- Get a facial
- Join a gym
- Read a novel
- Learn to bake
- Learn to swim
- Learn to play tennis
- Watch the sunrise
- Watch the sunset
- Take self defense class
- Go to the movies
- Go to a beach
- Practice yoga
- Learn salsa
- Go stargazing
- Plant a garden
- Make icecream
- Donate to charity
- Solve a rubik’s cube
- Host a cocktail party
- Learn to change a tire
- Stay awake for 48hours
- Do a one week detox
- Finish the Bible
- Learn to play an instrument
- Take a baby-free weekend off
- Visit all the regions in Ghana
- Speak in front of a room full of people
- Go for a walk barefoot